Life of an Army Family
by JewelGirl94
Summary: Sherlock and John are happily expecting their second child when John gets the order that he is being deployed to Afghanistan. This follows their family from the day they get the news and beyond. Omega!verse, Mpreg, Johnlock
1. Chapter 1

**SPOV**

I received John's text just before I picked Hamish up from school.

_Leave Hamish with Mrs. Hudson. I need to talk to you—J _

_**Is everything alright?—SWH **_

The school bell rang just after I sent my message, and I attempted to use searching for Hamish as a distraction from the worry that John's text message had brought. I was no use, though, and I cursed my hormones for turning me into such a worrier. My phone buzzed with John's response.

_Just come home. I want to tell you in person—J _

Well, that didn't help at all.

I scanned the flood of children coming out of the school building hurriedly, searching for Hamish. As soon as I saw him I called his name and soon his little arms were wrapped tightly around my legs.

"Hi, Papa! Hi, baby!" he said, patting my baby bump and placing a kiss just over my navel. I smiled and ruffled his dark curls.

"Hello, Hamish. How is my clever boy today?" I asked, taking his hand and turning towards home. He started chattering at me about his day, and I listened to every word more closely than usual, hoping to be distracted from thinking about John's worrying text. I wasn't very successful with that line of thinking.

"Hamish, you're going to visit with Mrs. Hudson when we get home. Daddy or I will fetch you in a bit, alright?" I said as we walked up the steps to the front door.

"Yes, Papa," he answered as I opened the door. I knocked on Mrs. Hudson's door once before popping my head in.

"Mrs. Hudson, would you mind watching Hamish for a bit? John has said that he has something he needs to talk to me about," I said.

"Of course, dear. I'm only happy to look after the little one for you. It's nothing bad, I hope. That's the last thing you need in your state," she said.

"Thank you, Mrs. Hudson," I said, choosing not to comment on the sort of news John and I needed to talk about. I shooed Hamish into Mrs. Hudson's flat with kiss on the top of his head and turned to go upstairs.

I found John sitting at the kitchen table with his head in his hands. Nothing good could come from that.

"What's happened, John?" I asked. Instead of answering, he shoved a sheaf of papers toward me. I picked them up and my heart sank instantly. The RAMC logo stared back at me. I shoved the papers away without taking a second look.

"What did it say?" I asked, not daring to think it said anything good.

"I'm being deployed. Afghanistan. I leave in two weeks."

"No. Not happening. We'll talk to Mycroft; he can stop this," I said.

"I can't do that, Sherlock. They need medical staff. I can't just not go," he said.

"Why does the army need _you_? There are other doctors! Hamish needs you, the baby needs you. _I _need you!"

"Do you think I want this, Sherlock? I'm as unhappy about it as you are!" he said, his voice rising slightly.

"Then speak to Mycroft." I told him.

"We knew this was coming, Sherlock. I can't back out now, even with Mycroft's help. I made a commitment. I have to honor it."

"What about your commitment to me, John? Our family?" I asked, gesturing to my belly to emphasize my point.

"I am not walking out on you!" he exclaimed. "I could never, ever leave you or our children, Sherlock. I have to go, but I will always come back to you. _Always_."

He got up from his seat and walked around the table, taking my face in his hands. I didn't realize I was crying until I felt him wipe tears from my cheeks.

"You, and Hamish, and the baby are the most important things in my life. How could I ever leave you three?" he asked softly, his own eyes watery.

"You're not allowed to die. Do you hear me, John Watson? You are not allowed to die. I forbid it," I said, tears still falling down my cheeks.

"I hear you, Sherlock. I won't die. I promise. I promise." He kissed me softly on the lips, long and slow, before pulling away and helping me up. He led me to the couch, and pulled me down next to him. We lay tangled together for the rest of the afternoon, his hand resting on the swell of my stomach, trying to draw comfort from the closeness of each other.


	2. Chapter 2

**SPOV**

On John's last morning at home, neither of us wanted to leave our bed. We had lay tangled together for close to an hour savoring each other's presence, trying to get as much of each other's scent as we could. John had kept a hand pressed to my belly, hungry for every movement our child made. Eventually, Hamish had found his way downstairs and joined us, curling up in our arms.

Now we were getting out of the cab that had taken us to Kings Cross station, where John would have to leave us. John had his pack slung over his shoulder and an arm around my waist, his other hand holding one of Hamish's as we walked through the station.

We reached John's platform ten minutes before his train left, the platform dotted with a handful of other military families. John nodded at a few of them then dropped his hold on Hamish and me, letting his bag fall to the ground. He kneeled down in front of Hamish and gripped his shoulders gently, his eyes already shining with tears.

"You're going to be a good boy for Papa, right, Hamish? You'll do whatever he asks you to? Do your homework and help him with the baby?" he asked.

"Yes, Daddy." Hamish's voice waivered, and my heart broke.

"You're going to be the only Alpha in the house, Hamish. I need you to be a big boy and protect your Papa and the baby, all right? Make sure they're safe," John told him.

"Please don't go, Daddy!" Hamish cried throwing his arms around John's neck and John hugged him tight, tears falling down his cheeks. "I don't want you to go."

"I know, Hai, I know. I don't want to go either, but I have to. It's my job. And your job is to protect your Papa and the baby. It's a very important job, Hai, and I'd only trust you to do it for me. Promise me?"

"I promise."

"Good boy. I love you, Hamish. So very much," John said, hugging Hamish tighter and kissing the side of his head.

"I love you, too, Daddy," Hamish whimpered. John released him with one last kiss on his forehead and turned to me, Hamish gluing himself to John's side. John placed his hands on either side of my belly and leaned his forehead just above my navel.

"You be good for your Papa, too, little one. Don't give him any trouble, let him get some sleep every now and then, yeah?" The baby shifted position and John kissed the spot, a sad smile on his lips. I finally felt the tears that had been building all morning fall, and I ran my fingers through his hair.

"Now I won't be there when you're born, and I am very sorry about that. But I love you so much already. So very, very much, little one." He kissed my stomach again with another sad smile, then stood up and cupped my face in his hands.

"You are such an amazing man, Sherlock Watson-Holmes. I love you so, so much," he said. He brought our lips together then pressed his forehead against mine, his hands moving to my waist.

"I love you, too, John," I said. I wrapped my arms around him and leaned into his touch.

"You're going to take care of yourself after the baby is born, Sherlock? You'll remember to sleep and eat? You won't go running around after criminals by yourself?"

"I'll try my best," I promised, a weak smile on my lips. We looked into each other's eyes, so many unspoken promises and reassurances being made between us.

We kissed again, and this time we didn't break apart until the conductor called for the final boarding.

"I love you," I said again, my voice breaking as John picked up his bag.

"I love you, too, Sherlock." He pecked my lips one last time then dropped another kiss each on my belly and Hamish's head.

"Love you, too, Hai." He gently pried Hamish off of his leg and slipped his little hand into mine.

"I love you, too, Daddy."

John waved as he climbed onto the train, tears still streaking his cheeks. Hamish had buried his face in my coat and I cupped the back of his head, holding him close.

A few moments later John stuck his head out of a window a short way down the train and looked back in our direction.

"Wave goodbye to Daddy, Hamish," I said, giving him a little nudge. We waved and John waved back, swiping his tears away with the back of his hand at the same time. We waved all the way up until the train had completely left the station and John was long gone.

"Well," I said, wiping the tears from my cheeks and looking down at Hamish. I held his chin and tilted his face up, brushing his tears away as well. His lip was still trembling but I could tell that he was trying to put on a brave face.

"I think in situations like this it is appropriate to go home and cuddle on the couch with a nice cup of hot chocolate. What do you think, Hai?" I asked him, smoothing his hair back. He nodded slowly, sniffling once and slipping his hand into mine.

When we got back to the flat I settled Hamish on the couch with the telly while I went to the kitchen to make our hot chocolate. Actually making the hot chocolate was made more difficult than it should have been when I almost burst into tears at the sight of John's favorite mug, a bit of tea still in it from this morning. I cursed my hormones and tried to move on, but the idea that John might never drink out of that mug again stuck in my mind and refused to be deleted.

Once the hot chocolate was finally made I brought the mugs into the sitting room and sat down on the couch with Hamish. I handed him his mug and pulled a blanket over us.

I wrapped my arm around him and rubbed my stomach, grounding myself in the here and now and not distant what if's of the future.


	3. Chapter 3

**SPOV**

"Hamish, have you brushed your teeth, yet? You can't talk to Daddy until you're ready for bed!" I called up the stairs.

"Yes, Papa!" he called back.

"Are you sure? Do I need to check?" I asked.

"No, Papa. I'll do it now," he grumbled.

"Good boy," I said as he tramped down the stairs in his pajamas to the bathroom. I pushed myself up from my spot on the couch with a grunt, holding the small of my back.

I walked slowly over to the desk still holding my back and wishing that pregnancy wasn't associated with so many aches and pains. I sank into the desk chair with another groan and booted up my laptop, opening up a Skype window.

I heard the water go off in the bathroom a few minutes later and Hamish ran into the kitchen. He came out a moment later with a chair bouncing along the floor behind him.

"Has he called yet, Papa? Has he called?" he asked anxiously as he pulled the chair up next to me.

"Not yet, Hamish. Give him a few minutes," I said, ruffling his hair with a small smile.

"Do you think he'll be excited to see us, Papa?" he asked.

"Daddy loves us and misses us very much, Hai, just like we love and miss him. I'm sure he's very excited to see us," I told him.

A moment later the laptop started to ring and a new call window popped up, John's name across the top.

"Daddy!" Hamish squealed excitedly as soon as he heard it. I hit the answer button and the window expanded to black for just a moment before John's face appeared.

"Daddy!" he squealed again.

"John," I sighed, my entire body relaxing as a tension I didn't even know I was carrying left me.

"Hi, Hamish! Look at you! You've gotten so big!" John said. "And look at your Papa! I bet he's been getting big too."

"You have no idea," I said, leaning back and putting a hand to my stomach.

"Are you happy to see us, Daddy? Papa said you would be because you love us and miss us a whole lot, just like we're excited to see you because we love you and miss you, too," Hamish said.

"Well, Papa's right, as always. I'm _very_ happy to see you and Papa, Hamish," John said.

"Daddy, did you get my pictures?" Hamish asked.

"I got them, Hai. They're wonderful!" John gushed. "Best pictures I've ever seen! Tell me what else you've been up to, Hai?"

John talked to Hamish about everything he'd been doing, Hamish jabbering excitedly about everything that happened to him. When Hai asked John about what he'd been doing John floundered for a moment before spouting off rubbish about more of the same things that he'd been doing with the army while he'd been home, carefully avoiding saying anything about any actual fighting.

"Why don't you go and play in your room, Hai. I want to talk to Daddy alone, alright?" I asked eventually.

"But I want to stay!" Hamish protested.

"Alright then. You can stay and listen to Papa and I talk about mushy, lovey-dovey things and make kissy faces at each other," John said.

"Do I have to say bye to Daddy now?" he asked after a moment of hesitation.

"I'll be sure to call you back down before we hang up," I told him.

"Pinky promise?" he asked, holding out his little finger.

"Pinky promise," I said, wrapping my little finger around his. "Now off you go."

As soon as I heard the door to his room close I turned my full attention to John.

"You've changed so much since we met, Sherlock," he said softly.

"Good or bad?" I asked.

"Good, of course. When we met you didn't want to mate and you couldn't stand children. I couldn't imagine you ever pinky promising in your life," he explained.

"You changed me. I'd never want to mate with anyone but you, and I still dislike all children but ours. Our children are the best, obviously," I said, rubbing my bump. "I'm still an arse to everybody else, of course."

"I wouldn't ask for you to be anything but the loveable arse I fell in love with, anyway. I'm just glad you decided caring was worth your while."

"I am, too. You, Hamish, and the baby are the best things to ever happen to me."

"God, I miss you so much," he said.

"I miss you, too," I told him.

"How have you been? How's the baby doing?" he asked.

"The baby is doing wonderfully, no problems at all. I, on the other hand, am in desperate need of a back rub, or a foot massage, or _something_," I complained.

"Oh, Sherlock. I wish there was something I could do for you, love. I hate thinking about you in pain," he said.

"Well you're the one who knocked me up. It's your fault I'm in this state to begin with," I pointed out impishly.

"It takes two to make a baby, love, and I didn't hear you complaining at the time. In fact, I seem to recall you telling me "put a baby in me" during your last heat," John said with a smirk.

"I might have said something like that," I admitted with a smile. "Still, just another month and I won't have to worry about aches and pains anymore. I'll have nappies and nursing to deal with instead."

"You have no idea how much I wish I could be there for everything, Sherlock," he said.

"Maybe, but I think it might be about as much as _I _wish you could be here," I told him. The baby let gave a particularly strong kick and I winced in pain, rubbing the spot just under my ribs.

"This little one misses you, too, I think. Been a bit more active since we've been talking, and that was a particularly big move, there," I said.

"I miss the little one, too. Wish I could be there to feel it again," he sighed wistfully. "Stand up, let me see."

"Do you have any idea how much an ordeal for me to get up these days? It's a good thing I love you so much," I grumbled as I heaved myself out of my chair and tilted the laptop so John could see how huge I had become since he left.

"You're beautiful, Sherlock," he said softly.

"You should see my stretch marks," I said, sitting back down heavily.

"I bet they're beautiful, too."

"Hardly," I scoffed.

"Well if you won't admit that every bit of you is beautiful—stretch marks included—then I'm just going to have to prove it to you when I get home, won't I?" he said.

"You'd better. I won't be able to keep my hands off of my big, strong, army doctor Alpha for very long," I said.

"You might have to wait your turn, love. First thing that's going to happen is I'm going to hold little Benedict or Charlotte and play with Hamish. And that night, when the kids are asleep, I'll make love to you all night long," he told me.

"So I'm not as important as the kids?" I asked playfully.

"Not at all. I'll be spending the afternoon with the kids. I'm going to spend the whole night with you. Plus, I can't exactly ravish you in the middle of the airport—in front of who knows how many people and our children—can I?" he pointed out.

"I suppose not," I said. John looked away from the screen for a moment, and when he looked back he was frowning.

"My time is nearly up," he said.

"It hasn't been long enough!" I said.

"It hasn't been long enough for me, either but I can't help it. It's going to cut me off in a few minutes. I sighed and looked away, rubbing my bump agitatedly.

"Hamish! Come and say good bye to Daddy, now!" I called before turning back to John. "You're a captain, can't they give you more time? I can talk to Mycroft about it."

"No, Sherlock. I don't get extra call time because I'm a captain, and I don't want you to talk to Mycroft about it either. I don't want any special treatment because of who my brother-in-law is," he said. Hamish had come running down the stairs by now, preventing John from ranting at me about equality any longer.

"Daddy, when are you coming home?" Hamish asked after he had climbed back up into his chair.

"I get to come home in five months, Hamish. I'm counting down the days. Why don't you ask Papa to show you the day on the calendar and you can count down, too," John suggested.

"Yes, yes, yes! Papa, can we do it? Please?" Hamish asked excitedly.

"Of course, Hai. I honestly don't know why we aren't doing it already. But we need to say good-bye to Daddy, now. He needs to go to bed, and so do you," I said.

"I don't want to say good-bye yet," he sniffed.

"I know, Hai. But it's what, a quarter to nine at home?" John asked me. I nodded. "Which means it's way past your bedtime. And Papa and Daddy need to get some sleep as well."

"Fine," he grumbled.

We said good-bye to John with tears all around and he signed off with a sad wave and a blown kiss and no idea when we would be able to talk again. Hamish clung to me and snuffled into my chest for a bit while I rubbed his back. Eventually I convinced him to go up to his room for bed with the promise of reading a book together. I had said that talking to John would take the place of the story and it was already very late, but I could tell we both could use the time together.

We took turns reading aloud from _Treasure Island_ until I heard his breathing even out and deepen. I pulled myself up from his bed and leaned back down to tuck him in properly, kissing his forehead and brushing his hair off of his forehead. I turned out the light to his room and went back downstairs, falling into bed instantly.

My hands automatically came to rest on my stomach, trying to imagine that they were John's hands and that I was not alone in our bed. I felt the movements of our child and, even as nonsensical as it was and how impossible it was to come true, I wished that John could come home to be a part of the last month of my pregnancy and the birth of our baby.

Timeline for this story is pretty rough. Sherlock is just over four months pregnant when they first get the news, which makes him five months pregnant when John leaves in chapter 2. This chapter Sherlock is a month away from giving birth. Next chapter takes place two months after this one. Sorry for the weird time jumps and stuff, but I like to see them as vignettes.

I have no idea when this is actually supposed to be set, only sometime between the start of the war in Afghanistan and now. I originally wanted it on the early side, because they're younger than they are in the show and this is John's first tour of duty, but now I've confused myself with the things I wanted to include and how I wanted to include them. I feel like the laptop with a built in camera and Skype are a bit too modern for this time, but having Sherlock mess around with a webcam didn't feel right. I also know that soldiers in Afghanistan (at least some of the American ones) have regular access to the internet and possibly even have their own laptops because my cousin is currently deployed there and she post on Facebook almost every day and can Skype whenever she has the time. I didn't want that for this story because it didn't have the right feeling. And so I've confused myself and whatever. There really isn't any time that works 100% for this. Also, I don't know anything about how the British Army works.

I don't even know what I'm saying any more. I'll shut up now.


	4. Chapter 4

**SPOV**

Lying in a hospital bed is endlessly boring. Lying in a hospital bed is endlessly boring, especially when the love of your life is not with you. Lying in a hospital bed without the love of your life is only made a bit better by holding my newborn son.

Benedict was a beautiful child. Auburn hair, blue eyes that looked so much like John's that I just knew they wouldn't change, ten perfect fingers and ten perfect little toes.

My body was crying out for John. Missing the hormones he would be giving off after the birth, the pure Alpha pheromones that would tell me that I was safe and protected and that our baby would be taken care of.

I stroked his cheek softly while he ate, trying to concentrate on the feeling of his gentle sucking at my chest and sighed.

There was a small commotion in the hall and then Hamish was running through the door with a huge smile on his face, followed by Lestrade and his and Mycroft's little girl Madeline.

"Papa! Is that my little brother?" Hamish said excitedly. "Can I see him?"

"In a moment, Hamish. He's eating right now," I explained.

"What's he eating, Papa? He's got his face all mushed up against your chest?" Hamish said asked, sounding very confused.

"Well, Hamish, babies don't eat the same foods that we eat because their bellies can't handle them, so Papa's body makes special milk for the baby to eat instead," I explained.

"That's so cool! Can I see it sometime?" he asked excitedly.

"Of course, Hai. Maybe we can even do some experiments together while Benny naps," I suggested.

"Yes, yes! I would really like that, Papa!" Hamish squealed.

"That's my boy," I said fondly, reaching out and ruffling his hair fondly.

"You are probably the only person on the planet would want to experiment on your own breast milk with your son, Sherlock," Lestrade said.

"I am a man of my ways, Lestrade," I said before looking back at Hamish. "Have you been good for your Uncle Greg, Hai?"

"Yes, Papa. I drew pictures with Maddy for Benny!" Hamish said proudly, pulling a few creased pieces of paper from his bag and climbing up onto my bed. "When can I show him?"

"In a few minutes, Hai. He's just about finished eating and as soon as I burp him, you can hold him or show him your pictures, whichever you want. Sound good?" I said. Hamish nodded excitedly, a big smile on his face.

"I wanna see baby, Unca Sh'lock! Baby, baby, baby!" Madeline piped up, tugging on Lestrade's hand to try and pull him closer to the bed.

"Now Maddy, you can't pester Uncle Sherlock. He's very tired right now," Lestrade said, trying to contain Madeline's exuberance.

"She's fine, Lestrade," I said, feeling Benedict finish up his meal and yawn against my chest. I shifted him to my shoulder and patted his back gently, pulling my t-shirt down at the same time.

"Can I help, Papa?" Hamish asked.

"I think so. Give me your hand," I said, holding my own hand out. He slipped his hand over my palm and I brought it up to Benedict's little back.

"We have to be gentle, Hamish. Benny is very little, so we can't pat him too hard," I told him, guiding Hamish's hand. After a few minutes Benedict gave a little grunt and a burp, a tiny bit of milk dribbling from the corner of his mouth. Hamish giggled and withdrew his hand.

"There we go, little one. All ready for your big brother to hold you, now," I said, wiping the milk from Benedict's chin.

"Sit on your bottom, please, Hai." Once he rearranged himself I positioned his arms in the correct way and placed Benedict in Hamish's grasp.

"He's beautiful, Sherlock," Lestrade said, coming a bit closer to my bed, Madeline held firmly in his arms and away from the possibility of her little hands making uncontrolled grabs at Benedict.

"Baby, baby, baby," she chanted. "Baby pwitty."

"Thank you, Madeline, Lestrade," I said absently, watching Hamish's interactions with Benedict.

Hamish looked at his little brother with large, curious eyes, trying to take him all in at once. He held Benedict incredibly carefully, as if he was afraid that his slightest movement would cause Benedict harm while Benedict blinked blearily up at his big brother.

"What do you think, Hai?" I asked.

"I like him, Papa," he said. Benedict's eyes fluttered a few times before he yawned and his eyes finally closed. "He's sleepy."

"I would expect so. He's had a big day and he's got a full belly," I said, stroking Benedict's arm gently before slipping my finger into his tiny fist.

"I hold baby?" Madeline asked from Lestrade's arms.

"Not right now, sweetie. Baby is sleeping," Lestrade said. "Maybe when he wakes up Uncle Sherlock will let you hold him if you sit in my lap."

"Otay," Madeline grumbled, folding her arms over her chest and pouting. Lestrade chuckled at her and kissed the side of her head.

"Can you hand me my phone, Lestrade?" I asked, holding my hand out. Lestrade sighed and adjusted Madeline in his arms and reached for the table I had pushed down toward my feet.

"You're not trying to work a case hours after giving birth, are you?" he asked as he handed me my phone.

"No, no. This is much better," I said, turning the camera on and quickly snapping a few pictures of Hamish and Benedict.

"Good. I'd hate to have to call Mycroft in on you. Speaking of Mycroft, have you heard anything from him?" Lestrade asked as he pulled a chair closer to the bed.

"Not since just after Benedict was born," I said sadly.

As much as I had hated to admit it, going though labor and delivery alone hadn't been something I was willing to do. The most logical choice to join me in the delivery room had been Mycroft, being both my older brother and another Omega. He had stayed with me long enough to make sure I was confortable in my new room, until I had pestered him badly enough to try and get in contact with John.

"I'm sure he'll have something soon, Sherlock," Lestrade said.

"I hope so," I sighed, setting the background on my phone to the best of the pictures of Hamish and Benedict before dropping it by my side. "I really hope so."

Hamish squirmed a bit, still trying not to jostle Benedict.

"You alright, Hai?" I asked.

"My arms are tingly, Papa," he said.

"Ah, loss of blood flow. Your arms are asleep, just like your feet when you sit certain ways," I explained, reaching over and gently lifting Benedict from Hamish's arms. "Now just wiggle your fingers for a bit and it will stop."

While Hamish sat wiggling his fingers, Mycroft walked into the room, phone pressed to his ear.

"Yes. Thank you very much."

"Mycroft. Did you get through to John?" I asked as soon as the phone left his ear.

"Hamish, why don't we go exploring for a bit? I think your Papa and Uncle Mycroft need to talk alone for a bit," Lestrade said, standing up. "We'll come back and visit some more before we go."

"Alright," Hamish grumbled, slipping off my bed and following Lestrade out of the room. "Bye, Papa. Bye, Benny."

"John is out on a field mission, Sherlock. There's no way to get into contact with him at the moment," he said as soon as they were out of the room, sitting in Lestrade's vacated chair.

"Well why not? It can't be that hard to get a message through," I complained, holding Benedict a bit tighter.

"It won't do to distract him, Sherlock. He's in the middle of a combat situation—do you really want to risk breaking his concentration in such a high-risk situation?" he asked. I chose not to acknowledge that he was probably right, keeping my gaze on Benedict instead.

"I did leave orders that he be allowed to call home as soon as he returns to his base. He won't be able to talk for very long, but you'll be able to tell him about Benedict," Mycroft continued.

"At least you're good for something. Thank you," I said, glancing over at him.

"However much you don't like to think it, Sherlock, I can empathize with you in this. I hate to think of what this feels like for you, not to have John with you for the birth. I cannot imagine not having Gregory with me while I was giving birth to Madeline," he said. "You are a stronger Omega than I am."

"Congratulations to me, then," I said bitterly. "So glad I got the opportunity to show you up. If you really want to make me feel better, go and get Hamish. I'm sure he wants to hold his little brother again before you take him back to your flat."

"Alright then."

Later that night, long after Mycroft and Lestrade had taken Hamish back to their flat, I sat in near darkness watching Benedict blink up at me.

"You are a very loved little baby, Benedict. I know you're missing your Daddy's smell right now. I am, too. It's not his fault that he isn't here and he loves you very, very much." I smiled as he snuggled closer to my chest, one of his little hands gripping the front of my t-shirt tightly. "He was so upset when he learned that he wouldn't be around when you were born and he is so excited to meet you when he comes home—he probably won't want to put you down."

My mobile began to ring loudly and I swore softly as I rushed to grab it one handed and shut the ringer off before Benedict could start to cry. I looked at the screen and my irritation immediately dissolved and turned to hope when I saw that it was a blocked number and I answered it hurriedly.

"John?" I breathed.

"_Yes. Yes, Sherlock, it's me_. _Are you alright? Nobody's told me anything, I was just told that I was to call home as soon as I got back. Are you okay? Is the baby okay? Hamish?"_ John rushed.

"Everything is fine, John. I'm fine, Hamish is fine," I said. "The baby _is_ the reason I called, though. He missed his Daddy for his birthday."

"_Really, a boy?"_ John asked in awe.

"Yes. We have two boys now, John," I said, hot tears building up behind my eyelids. "Benedict is beautiful and healthy."

"_God, I wish I was there, love. I'm so sorry you and Benedict have to be alone," _John said.

"Stop apologizing; it's not your fault and it makes you sound like a broken record," I told him. "But I do wish you were here. I miss you, so much."

"_I miss you, too, Sherlock,"_ John said. There was some muffled speech from John's end, then the sound of his hand covering the voice receiver and speaking to the other person.

"_I've got to go, love. I wish I could talk longer," _John sighed.

"I wish you could, too. I love you," I said.

"_Love you, too, Sherlock. And tell Hai and Benny I love them, too," _he said.

"I will," I promised. "Bye."

"Bye, love." The line cut out and I put my phone back on the bedside table.

"I told you Daddy loves you, Benedict. He loves you very much, and so does Papa," I said, kissing his forehead. "Now let's get you to sleep, little one."


	5. Chapter 5

**SPOV**

The first thing John did during our next Skype call was to ask about Benedict.

"How's Benedict doing?" he asked anxiously.

"Everything's fine, John. In fact, I think there's a big brother somewhere here who wants to show off his little to his Daddy," I said with a smile, beckoning Hamish to come into view of the computer. He walked the two steps very carefully, not even jostling the bundle in his arms.

"Say hi to Daddy, Benny! Daddy, Benny's the best little brother in the entire world so far. He does cry a lot, but he's way better than Tony Marshal's little brother, anyway," Hamish said proudly.

"I'm glad to hear that, Hai," John said, looking as if he were reaching out to touch the screen. "Let me see him."

I took Benedict so that John could get a better look at him and so Hamish could climb into his chair. I brushed at his wispy hair and positioned him so that John could see him clearly.

"Benedict Eli Watson, born July 25, three-point-five kilos," I said proudly.

"He's beautiful," John said with misty eyes. "He's ginger."

"With Father and Mycroft on my side and Harry on yours it's not very surprising," I said.

"He's got your nose," John said pointed out.

"He's got your eyes," I said.

"He's beautiful," John said again. He smiled widely and waved to catch Benedict's attention.

"Hello, Benedict! I'm your Daddy. Are you being a good baby for your Papa?" Benedict gurgled at him, and that was enough to make John's face light up.

"You're a very good baby for Papa, aren't you, Benny? You sleep almost through the night and you don't cry unless you need something, do you?" I said, bouncing him a bit.

"And what about the big brother of the house? Are you having fun with Benny, Hamish?" John asked.

"Oh, yes, Daddy! I love Benny. Papa lets me help give him baths, and I play with him, and I get to read stories to him," Hamish said excitedly. He leaned over and pressed his face into Benedict's hair in a sloppy kiss with a smile on his face.

"Benny is a very lucky boy to have such a good big brother, Hai," John said. John talked to Hamish more about what he's been up to since our last Skype call while I sat and listened to them, watching them interact and occasionally adding bits to their conversation.

"Papa, I want to talk to Daddy by myself, like you did last time. Please?" Hamish asked me suddenly.

"Of course, Hai," I said, a bit taken aback. "I'll just go give Benedict a change, then. I'll be back in a bit."

I shifted Benedict a bit in my arms and got up, walking into my bedroom. I didn't bother to close the door, hoping to overhear what Hamish was saying to John while I changed Benedict's nappy.

"Daddy, Papa is sad."

"Why do you say that, Hamish?" John asked sounding a bit startled.

"His smiles look funny, like they're not really smiles. I don't like them," Hamish said. "And he never uses his smiles unless he's looking at Benny, or me, or pictures with you in them. What's wrong with him, Papa?"

"Hamish, Papa isn't sad because of anything that you or Benny did. I want you to know that. It's very hard for Papa to be away from me right now because he just had a baby and his body is telling him that he needs me. Since I'm not around, it makes him sad," John explained.

"Then you have to tell the army people that you need to come home early because you being away is making Papa sad," Hamish demanded.

"I wish I could, Hai, but it doesn't work like that. I have to stay here and help make people better here," John explained.

"Then how do we make Papa happy if you can't come home?" Hamish asked.

"I don't really know, Hamish. You'll just have to be the best helper that you can be for Papa and give him lots of hugs and kisses, maybe draw him a special picture or do some of your experiments with him," John said.

I finished up with Benedict's nappy and closed the snaps of his bodysuit but I stayed put, not wanting to interrupt their conversation quite yet.

"I don't like you being gone either, Daddy," Hamish said. "It, makes me sad, too."

"Oh, Hai," John sighed. "I miss you, too. We'll do something special together when I get home, just the two of us. Sound good to you?"

"Yes! What can we do, Daddy?"

"I'll let you pick, Hai. Why don't you start thinking about it while I talk to Papa?" John said. "Will you go get him for me?"

"Okay!" A second later came the sound of his bare feet padding across the flat to my room. "You can talk to Daddy, now, Papa!"

"Alright, Hamish. You go play in your room and I'll call you to say goodbye to Daddy just like last time, okay?" I asked.

"Okay." He scampered off again before I could even stand up, pausing to tell John that I was on my way before continuing on his way up to his room.

I sat back down at my laptop and sighed, gently stroking Benedict's back while I waited for John to say something.

"You heard what Hamish said?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Are you alright, Sherlock?"

"I'm fine. It's just… it's hard without you here," I admitted. "I miss having you around helping with the kids and I'm so disappointed that you couldn't be around when Benedict was born and that you haven't been able to hold him yet. I just miss you, in general."

"I miss you, too, love."

"Do you know what the hardest part is, though? People on the street give me these looks; they just scream pity. It shouldn't bother me but it does, because they all think poorly of you for not being around. They think that you don't care when it's not your fault that the bloody army shipped you out to Afghanistan," I ranted.

"Oh, Sherlock," John sighed.

"I hope you don't think less of me for being overly emotional, John," I said, looking away from the camera and trying to keep a handle on my emotions.

"I don't, of course I don't. I love you and I love that you can let your emotions go around me. I've always known you weren't a sociopath," John said with a smile.

"I love you, too, John," I said. Benedict squealed happily in my arms and waved his little fists around. I smiled down at him. "I think Benedict wants to say he loves you, too."

"I love you, too, Benny," John said with a smile. "Let me see him again, Sherlock?"

"Of course, John," I said with an answering small smile, adjusting Benedict in my arms again and pointed at the computer screen. "Look at Daddy, Benny. See him in the computer?"

John smiled widely and wiggled his fingers to get Benedict's attention. "Hi, little one."

Benedict squealed at him again happily "You're a very handsome baby, aren't you, Benny? Of course, with how handsome your Papa is it would be hard for you to be anything else, wouldn't it?"

"If he's got my looks, then I hope he has your heart, just like Hamish does," I said.

"Well I happen to think that your heart—" there was a commotion somewhere on John's end and he stopped speaking and looked off to the side.

"Captain Watson?" an American voice said somewhat desperately.

"Yes, Warrant Officer Spencer?" John said with a scowl.

"You're needed in the med unit, sir," Spencer said.

"I'm off duty, Spencer. I am talking to my mate and the baby that I am seeing for the first time tonight. Get someone else to do whatever it is that needs doing," John told him with a gesture at the computer.

"I'm sorry, Captain, but we have a whole company coming in from an assault, sir. We need every hand we can get, sir," Spencer said. John ran a frustrated hand through his hair.

"I'm sorry, Sherlock, I've got to go," he sighed heavily.

"I understand, John, but Hamish will be incredibly disappointed he didn't get to say good-bye to you," I said.

"I know," John sighed again.

"Captain Watson," Spencer said urgently.

"Just give me a moment, alright? I can't just turn it off on them!" John said angrily to the soldier before turning back to the camera. "Tell Hai I love him, yeah?"

"Of course, John," I said.

"And I love you, Sherlock, and I love you, too, Benedict," John said, blowing each of us a kiss.

"We love you, too, John, don't we, Benny?" I said, shifting Benedict up higher in my arms and kissing his head.

"Captain!"

"I miss all of you so much," John said, ignoring the soldier.

"We miss you, too, John," I said. "Very much. Now go. You're needed."

John nodded once. "Bye, love."

"Bye." The connection cut off and I sighed into Benedict's hair and kissed him again.

"Hamish, come down, please," I called. I got up and quickly settled Benedict in his swing with a dummy so that I could fend off a meltdown from Hamish at not being able to say good-bye to John.

"Daddy, look at what I drew for you! It's not finished yet, but—" Hamish stopped short at the bottom of the stairs when he didn't see me at the computer like he was expecting and that there was no image of John on the screen. "Papa? Where's Daddy?"

"Daddy had to go do his job, Hamish," I told him, sitting down in my chair and opening my arms to him. He stayed put, still a bit confused.

"But I wanted to show him my picture," Hamish said sadly, his lip trembling a bit. "You said I could say good-bye to him."

"I know I did, Hai, I know I did. Come here," I said, beckoning him over. He stumbled a bit when he started moving in my direction and he climbed into my lap slowly, burring his head in my chest.

"Daddy had to go help people who were hurt, Hamish. Somebody came to fetch him and he had to go because he's Daddy and he loves to fix people and make them better. He wasn't planning on leaving early and not saying good-bye and he told me to tell you that he loves you and misses you very much," I told him as I rubbed his back.

"But… I didn't—I didn't get to tell him that, Papa," he cried.

"Oh, Hai. He knows already," I reassured him. "Now why don't you show me your picture?"


	6. Chapter 6

**SPOV**

The task of keeping a grip on Hamish while waiting for John in Heathrow would have been monumental on it's own, but was made all the more difficult by having to balance Benedict and his baby bag as well. Deciding that taking the pram was more trouble than it was worth was turning out to be a very poor decision indeed.

"How much longer, Papa?" Hamish asked.

"His flight just landed, Hamish. We just have to wait a bit longer," I told him, gripping his hand a bit more firmly.

I was highly envious of Benedict at the moment; as many times as Hamish and I had said it, he really had no idea that John was coming home, that he would finally meet his Daddy and so could avoid the feeling of anticipation that was quickly becoming painful the longer it took John to appear. My skin was itching at the very through that soon I would finally, _finally_ have John's hands touching me and I could fill my lungs with his wonderful scent again after so many long months.

Hamish had been vibrating with excitement for days. He had talked about nothing else but the adventure to the Natural History Museum that John would be taking him on, and it had become increasingly likely that he would come back downstairs sometimes a few hours after I had put him to bed with the explanation that he was too excited to go to sleep.

Hamish broke me out of my thoughts suddenly with a shout as he finally succeeded in yanking his hand out of mine.

"Daddy!" He ran off into the crowd of people milling about the baggage claim.

"Hamish! Get back here!" I shouted after him, breaking into a jog to try and keep him in my sight. As soon as I saw the person Hamish was running towards, however, I stopped short.

"Daddy!" Hamish shouted again, running straight into John's arms. John laughed and lifted Hamish into his arms, spinning him through the air before hugging him close to his chest.

"Hamish! Oh, Hamish. I've missed you so much! Look at you! You've gotten so big!" John exclaimed, shifting Hamish to his hip.

"I missed you, too, Daddy!" Hamish said, wrapping his arms around John's neck. John laughed again and kissed Hamish's forehead.

"Where's your Papa, Hai?" John asked cupping his cheek in one hand.

"There he is, Daddy," Hamish said, pointing at me. John finally looked up and saw me and we quickly covered the space between us, John wrapping his free arm around me and pulling me in for a kiss as soon as we reached each other. I sighed happily into his mouth, already feeling better than I have in months with just the one kiss.

When we broke apart I dripped my head to his shoulder, greedily sucking in deep breaths of his warm scent.

"God, I missed you," John said, brushing his lips over my hair.

"I missed you, too, John," I murmured into his neck. We scented each other, breathing deeply and taking in each other's smell until Benedict gave and indignant squawk because nobody was paying attention to him and he was being ever so slightly squashed in between John and me. We parted slightly and John set Hamish on the floor, his attention all on Benedict now.

"Oh, look at you! So big," John said, touching Benedict's head gently.

"Take him, John," I said gently. He didn't need to be told twice and he lifted Benedict from my arms.

"Hi there, little one. Benedict. I'm your Daddy," he said, his eyes going misty. "I'm so happy to finally meet you, Benny."

Benedict looked up at him and smiled, reaching for his face. John smiled back and lifted Benedict up to his face to kiss his head and nuzzled his hair to begin to memorize his scent. When he lifted his head he had tear tracks down his cheeks and the smile he kept special for our children and me.

"What do you think of Benny, Daddy?" Hamish asked, clinging to John's leg.

"I think he's wonderful, Hai," John said, running one hand through Hamish's hair. "Let's go home, huh? I think I'm long over due for a cuddle on the couch my family."

"Indeed. It has been far, far too long," I said, wrapping an arm around John's waist. We collected John's duffel bag with a bit of pointless, half-hearted arguing from John about me wanting to carry his bag for him and reluctantly trying to hand Benedict back to me which ended with me hoisting John's bag over my shoulder and Benedict still lying contently in John's arms.

"I still think I should be carrying my own bag, love," John said as we walked out of the airport to catch a cab back to Baker Street.

"Nonsense, John. You need to bond with Benedict and I'm perfectly capable of carrying a bag a few meters to a taxi," I told him.

"I know, I know. Just my instincts over-working themselves after being away so long," he sighed, shifting his grip on Benedict to pull me in for a peck on the lips.

The taxi ride home was full of Hamish's chattering, John's warm voice, and Benedict's baby sounds. I sat with my head on John's shoulder and sighed, letting the tension I had been carrying since John got that awful letter in the post melt away.

When we got home John did have to give Benedict back to me, if only because Mrs. Hudson wrapped him up in a teary-eyed hug as soon as we stepped in the door.

"John, dear, I'm so glad you're home safe!" she exclaimed. "It hasn't been the same since you've been away. Much to quiet around here."

"I have a hard time believing that's true. You've had Sherlock and two small children running around the place, it can't have been too quiet," John said affectionately.

"It was the wrong type of noise, love. Not happy enough," Mrs. Hudson said, patting his arm as she drew away, promising she would be up a bit later for a chat after John had had time to settle back in and bond a bit more with Benedict.

We spent the rest of the afternoon together. Hamish had glued himself to John, and John had glued himself to Benedict. I passed in and out of the living room all afternoon sometimes working on an experiment, sometimes sitting with them on the couch.

We went to Angelo's for dinner and John talked with Angelo for a bit, laughing and joking and showing Benedict off happily all through dinner. When we got home we cuddled until it was time to put Hamish and Benedict to bed.

"I think it's time for little geniuses to go to bed," John said, ruffling Hamish's hair and standing up.

"I don't want to go to bed. I want to stay up with you and Papa," Hamish said with a yawn.

"I don't think so. Come on, let's go get ready to sleep," I said, offering him my hand.

"No! I want Daddy to do it!" he protested, clinging to John's side.

"Alright, alright," I said, holding my hands up in surrender. "I'll just take Benedict, then."

John reluctantly handed Benedict to me before turning and scooping Hamish up and making him laugh as he carried him up the stairs to get ready for bed. I smiled down at Benedict and went though his own bedtime routine with him before I headed up the stairs as well.

Once Hamish and Benedict were asleep, John lingered for a bit in the doorway of their room, watching them sleep. I stepped back up the stairs and wrapped my arms around his waist, resting my head easily on his shoulder, as I was one step behind him on the stairs.

"I'm so glad you're home," I whispered, kissing his neck.

"I am, too," John said, twining our fingers together.

"I seem to remember a certain army doctor promising to spend all night with me when he got home. Come to bed?" I asked, trailing kisses up to his ear and back down his neck.

"I did say that didn't I? Who am I to deny you, then?" he answered, turning his head to press our lips together.

He allowed me to lead him down the stairs to our bedroom where I pulled him down on top of me in bed, kissing him with every bit of passion that had been building up in me since he left.


End file.
